wow, its been a year since my last post.  anyways, i just got in from hawaii and i'm now back in la once more.  i cant help but feel a little sad.  i had a great time over xmas break.  the friends, the food, and the surfing.  

  as i flew in to lax this morning, i looked out at what appeared to be water with these distorted lights of various colors forming random shapes it looked like a seen out of star trek or something. it was really quite amazing to look at and in a way quite beautiful.  so i turn to my neighbor and say "look at those weird lights coming off the water."  he replies, "you mean the smog?"  and i was hit with the sudden realization of my stupidity. 

so as i stare at it once more, i couldnt help but think that what was once beautiful is kind of gross.  i mean its smog.  its definitely a far cry from the honolulu city lights.  but then i realized that this is sort of metaphor for my entire la experience.  i could look at something that appears beautiful, and call it nasty, or i could look at something nasty and think its beautiful.   la is not hawaii, nor will it ever be.  however, although there are times i wish i wasnt here.  i cant help but appreciate all the fond memories ive had in my last 4 years.

happy new year.

COME TO HEAT THIS WEDNESDAY AT TROJAN GROUNDS.  ASK ME FOR MORE INFO.

ok so its 330 monday morning right now and i cant sleep.  somethings on my my mind and i feel like i just got to put it down and rant for a bit.  ever since tcfs fallcon ive been noticing a lot of things in my life that could be better.  one of which is my perception of people and how i judge them etc.and i think that one of the things i have been judging people most on lately is selfishness.  i have just noticed that a lot of my friends can be pretty selfish.  granted some of this perception could be out of envy or the fact that it doesnt benefit me, but i just realize that people can just have very selfish attitudes.  now i dont want to single out any of my friends, but i just find it frustrating when certain people just dont take into consideration other people in their actions. especially when their job's sole interest is to include everyone.  sorry i am really bad at putting massive amounts of thought into words.  anyways, i am not going to say that i am not guilty of this myself, cuz i am, but at least i realize it and hope that i am bettering myself for it. 

   last week, when i went to feed the homeless at skid row, i had a lot running through my mind both before and after.  before going, i was terrified of what might happen while there.  not so much that the people would be hostile or violent, but rather because, i didnt know how to respond in that situation.  i was terrified that my lack of social skills would offend one of the people there.then once i was there, i faced a barrage of different people from all walks of life.  mentally disabled, physically disabled, bitter people, hopeful christians etc.  and i found even then, that i judged people there.  one guy was telling us a story about how he got injured and ended up there and part of me didnt want to believe him.  really, who am i to judge.  i dont know what hes been through.  another person i met was a vietnam vet in a wheel chair.  despite his physical set backs and situation, he still had dreams of a better life.  another person i met was this little old asian woman who was just glad that we were there.  she was just so full of hope that god will bestow grace upon her.  i must admit that i admire that.  i have been struggling with the existence of god for some time now and i am so blessed in so many different ways.  but i can never come to that one definite conclusion that he his here with me.  i can not feel nor form that bond with god that lets me know he is standing with me.  yet this lady with absolutely nothing can be so sure that exists is just amazing.  anyways, my attempt at being a better person/ christian failed miserably this week.  i say better person, because i dont feel worthy enough to call myself a christian without fully believing god.  but i'm trying.   so heres my little ad for heat.  THIS WEDNESDAY , COME TO HEAT HOSTED BY TROJAN CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP.  ITS BASICALLY A VARIETY SHOW CREATED TO HELP PEOPLE LEARN MORE ABOUT GOD IN A VERY NON-INTIMIDATING ENVIRONMENT.  THE SPEAKER WILL NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT GOD IN A TYPICAL CHRISTIAN WAY BUT JUST RELATE HIM TO HEROES IN THE WORLD AND MEDIA.  I WAS VERY IMPRESSED MY FIRST TIME I WENT AND CAN PERSONALLY SAY THAT I WAS NOT INTIMADATED AT ALL BY THE SURROUNDINGS.

ITS THIS WEDNESDAY AT TROJAN GROUNDS AT 7.  ASK ME FOR MORE INFO.

HAS ANYTHING THAT YOUVE DONE IN YOUR LIFE MADE YOU A BETTER PERSON?

hey guys-

well it has been a long two weeks with very little sleep and a whole lot of school work.  i totaled about four all-nighters and a few almost all-nighters. bleh.  well i'm done with that now.  anyways, i had a pretty good weekend. starting with the kappa sig "around the world party" on thursday.  then on saturday, i woke up at 5:30  (after going to sleep at 3:00)  to go college game day at the coliseum.  it was crazy.  i'm pretty sure me and paulo got on national tv a few times.  and we get college game day hard hats out of it.  after that we went to the game where we pulled out the win.  we didnt play too well, but its nice to know that cal played a nearly perfect game and still couldnt beat us.  on the walk back, me, casey and geoff did a lot of trash talking to the journeying berkeley fans.  and we capped off the night, with a great night of hanging with home town kids and a few exceptions.  that was pretty much it. 

side notes: 
     -congrats to jenn and brent
     -bush is an idiot
     -the nfl is pretty heartless for fining jake plummer just because he wears a decal to commerate fallen soldier and teammate pat tillman.  plummer is accepting the fines how ever and asked that the money goes to the pat tillman fund.
        -props to tim rattay, ashley lelie, keary colbert.